Wednesday, May 17, 2006
[[ d 0 o d l e b 0 a r d` ]]
heart; br0ken_______________________
bigboss || 9:05 PM
Friday, February 17, 2006
Another day is gone.... how long do i have to wait??
No matter how long... I will always be there standing n waiting patiently for u.....
The question is.. will he come back, accept and forgave me?
I was forced to make that decision.. between family and him. I decided to choose my family.. it was a very painful decision. Until today the wound is still present in my heart... Sometimes i felt that regreted my decision.. sometimes i did not.
I hope that he can change his temper, quit his bad habbits or at least get better. During Chinese New Year he got into a fight and got 11 stitches on his head.. My heart was hurt.. When i cooked mee sua, i wanted to gave him but i did not know how to open my mouth. Mee sua is use to symbolise ping an and longevity.
The only thing that i can do now is wish him all the best, hope that he will be happy...
[[ d 0 o d l e b 0 a r d` ]]
heart; br0ken_______________________
bigboss || 7:12 PM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Will i be able to overcome my stress? The ans is time.....
Another day passed... everyday i am just like a photocopy machine.. doing almost all the same thing....
It easy to say, but hard to do..
When someone has built a house in your heart and stayed in it... It is hard to remove it...
Its easy to tell him that your heart have let him go... when actually you have not...
Its easy to say that you do not care him anymore... when actually deep in your heart, in your mind, you always sees his picture, his back, his shadow, and hear his voices...
Its easy to lie but hard to admit ur mistakes...
When you heard, that he is injuried, your heart ache and worried.. but you cant show your care and concern...
[[ d 0 o d l e b 0 a r d` ]]
heart; br0ken_______________________
bigboss || 7:01 PM
In front of u yet its so far... I cried today!!
I went to eat sushi buffet with my other 4 friends.. and we finished 59 plates wad a record!!
Diana pulled me to go with her to watch her bf soccer match at newtown...
At night I smsed him to call me when he is free...replied and asked me to call him instead.
So i called. I updated him about the soccer boys.. talking half way, he asked me to call him back.
I called back at about 11pm. Talking half way, suddenly he said. "this stupid gal argh... asked her to call or sms me when she is home, but until now i gt no news yet.."
I asked," why? Relax... "
He replied, "Cannot!! When she drive her mind can think of other funny2 things 1.. not concentrating in her driving! very dangerous! I tell u wad.. u hold on k?''
I agreed and he put me on the second line. I waited and waited but he didn't get back... I put down the phone and sms : I shall not disturb u... Yet at the same time i was hoping that he will call me back when he is done.. BUT HE DIDN'T!!
This moment another knife come n pierced my heart.... Look how worried is he...I realized that the two of us is getting further n further... Without realizing with, my tears dropped...
Its infront of u yet its so far....
My leanning shoulder is slowly leaving me by myself....
[[ d 0 o d l e b 0 a r d` ]]
heart; br0ken_______________________
bigboss || 6:47 PM
decision?
I received a bouqet of chocolates. I was so touched and so happy =) But only last for a few hours...
The day before i bought chocolates for my friends.. and 1 for him... I was hoping to receive a valentine's day gift from him.. But this is just a hope.. It just vanished..
I smsed him and asked him to drop by my place as i have chocolate for him... n he did dropped by at around 10.15 pm. He arrived in a black mitshubishi car with another gal inside. I was very shocked.. I was like so dumb!! I passed him the chocolate and wished him happy valentine's day. He left and I walked infront of his car. He called me and asked me where I was going. I told him that I was going to the 7-11 and he left just like that... My heart was already aching T.T
Later he called and asked me if i am back at home.. I was happy as this shows that he still concern about me.. It was just a moment of happiness! What hurt my me was when he told me who he spent his valentine's day with and how he spent it... HE SPENT THE DAY WITH HIS EX-GF, KELLY. My heart was like being pierced by a knife.. he even spent about 100 over dollars for her flower. Later he promised to bring me out for a meal during the weekend and he will be asking her along.
At this moment I realized that my level just dropped... I believe she is getting her seat in his heart back...
---Did I make a wrong decision?---
[[ d 0 o d l e b 0 a r d` ]]
heart; br0ken_______________________
bigboss || 6:23 PM